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Home Sports Armadillos Football State Ceases to Care about Economy, Unemployment, Gas Prices and Drought as Football Season Begins

State Ceases to Care about Economy, Unemployment, Gas Prices and Drought as Football Season Begins

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Cowboys stadiumAccording to recent polling data conducted here in LaCucaracha and across the state, the mood of the populace has taken a sharp turn for the better. This upturn exhibits an acute contrast in data culled from just two weeks earlier. That data showed Texan’s deep concern for the general state of the economy, unemployment numbers, rising gas prices, the on-going drought and the pathetic state of political discourse on a local, state and national level.

Interestingly, only one thing has changed during the time between the two surveys: football season has begun.

Football season has seemingly washed away all problems and concerns of the masses with one fell swoop. Or, more accurately, football season has allowed people to ignore those issues. But problems don’t disappear if you ignore them. Will life actually improve if the Armadillos beat Sintown, if Texas beats OU, if the Cowboys win the Super Bowl? “Maybe not,” said local resident, David Hollings, “but being in tune with all the wrong in the world, talking about all of the ills in this country is nothing more than putting salt on a shit-sandwich.”

“I’m sure,” continued Hollings, “there are advantages to keeping up with the economy, politics, the on-going drought and all that, but I can’t really think of any right now. And I suppose I should care one way or another about the severe downgrade in political discourse in this country, but I don’t. What’s important to me is whether or not Mack Brown’s overhaul at UT will produce a 10-win season, or if A&M can build on last year’s success. Will Robert Griffin at Baylor reach his full potential? These things are all that really matter.”

 

Lionel Rose, who recently had his car stolen, seemed unaffected by the theft. “No worries,” said Rose while he fiddled with his smart phone, “although the Cowboys just announced a ‘business decision’ regarding Andre Gurode.”

 

Former Armadillo great, John Townshend, who was recently laid off and had his house foreclosed on also seemed impervious to what was happening to him on a personal front. “It’s no big deal,” said Townshend, “because Armadillo games are free for me as a legacy member of the ’79 state champ team. So who cares if I’m broke?”

Local rancher, Ted Hereford, recently had to sell all of his cattle at a tremendous loss because of the drought. He was remarkably happy considering the circumstances. “Hey,” said Hereford, “the drought doesn’t matter anymore. They don’t have to water that field turf at Jackie Sherrill Stadium or at Cowboys Stadium. It’s all good.”

Townshend concluded our interview by saying he couldn’t wait for the opening prayer before the Armadillos took the field Friday night. “The moment of silence,” continued Townshend,” for the 57 boys who perished during summer two-a-days. Sure, those kids weren’t strong enough to make the team, but they died trying. Anyway, that’s what I’m looking forward too. Kick off and it all goes away.”

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